He was the third child in the family.
I think there were more than ten of them.
It was the 1920's. Times were hard at the turn of the last century. His father had just died. There wasn't enough to pay for the coffin of my great-grandfather, and so some of the family members had to sacrifice.
It was the 1920's. Times were hard at the turn of the last century. His father had just died. There wasn't enough to pay for the coffin of my great-grandfather, and so some of the family members had to sacrifice.
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| My grandfather's life was not a smooth one. He had moments of gloom and yet he had moments of radiant joy. In this post I try to draw some lessons from his life history. |
As the third eldest child he knew he had a responsibility. His father was the son of a rich man. But his father had demanded his inheritance early on. His father got his share of the inheritance and spent it on wine and women. Then his father passed away.
So my grandfather took a passage to Malaya. He found a merchant who was rich enough to need a servant. He became a bonded servant. Even though he was just a young boy, he hopped aboard a ship and followed his new master to Malaya.
Eventually he served out his bond. He went back to China.
The sacrifice he made had helped to tide his family over.
The first lesson is: responsibility requires sacrifice.
When the situation demands it, you sacrifice for the family.
When the situation demands it, you sacrifice for the family.
He went back with some success.
It was the late 1930s.
He found a woman in China. He married her and settled down. He built a house about 4 storeys high, facing the main road. There was a paddy field nearby. (I know, I visited the house last year.)
He found a woman in China. He married her and settled down. He built a house about 4 storeys high, facing the main road. There was a paddy field nearby. (I know, I visited the house last year.)
Then the sky darkened. He read the news. He heard rumours. The West was in depression. A Great Depression. China's economy was affected.
I heard that his wife was beautiful. He must have been madly in love with her. But he wasn't rich, and the economy was slowing down.
He decided to go to Malaya to seek his fortune. Again.
In his doubt, he fell back on what he knew. In his mind, he was certain that he would make his fortune in Malaya.
But he didn't know the future, so he didn't bring his pretty wife along.
The second lesson is: In uncertainty, do what you are most certain of.
War broke out suddenly.
It was the early 1940s.
He was caught unawares when the war broke out. The Japanese had invaded Malaya! The news spread quickly. What was he to do? He knew as a Chinese national he was at grave danger.
He was caught unawares when the war broke out. The Japanese had invaded Malaya! The news spread quickly. What was he to do? He knew as a Chinese national he was at grave danger.
Maybe he thought that it was the end of his journey. Maybe he thought that he would not make it out of the war alive.
And so he married a second lady. My grandmother. It was the war and everybody didn't know what would happen tomorrow. Except the Japanese invaders, who knew that they wanted to rape and slaughter all the ethnic Chinese.
My grandmother was older than my grandfather by a few years. She had run away from home. To cover up her running away her family arranged for her to marry him. That was how it started.
Their little family started during war. Grandmother hid in a little town down South to avoid the Japanese soldiers.
He lived life as it came to him. One day at a time.
He burned his bridges. He raised a small family.
The third lesson is: Take chances.
Their little family started during war. Grandmother hid in a little town down South to avoid the Japanese soldiers.
He lived life as it came to him. One day at a time.
He burned his bridges. He raised a small family.
The third lesson is: Take chances.
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| Because of the war, my grandmother met my grandfather. If not for it, I might not even exist today. |
And then the war was over.
It was the late 1940s.
He went back to China. There, my grandmother gave birth to another child. And then the first grandmother, who was younger and prettier than my grandmother, gave birth to her one and only child.
He went back to China. There, my grandmother gave birth to another child. And then the first grandmother, who was younger and prettier than my grandmother, gave birth to her one and only child.
They lived there for a few years.
Eventually, my grandfather thought of returning to Malaya. Again. He had two wives and five kids. More wives and more kids than me.
Eventually, my grandfather thought of returning to Malaya. Again. He had two wives and five kids. More wives and more kids than me.
I heard he wanted to come back to Malaya with the first wife. The pretty wife.
But my grandmother heard about it and she made a deal with the first wife. Since she was born and bred here, my grandmother would return to Malaya first, with her kids. When things had settled down, the other grandmother could come down.
But my grandmother heard about it and she made a deal with the first wife. Since she was born and bred here, my grandmother would return to Malaya first, with her kids. When things had settled down, the other grandmother could come down.
My grandfather had no say in the matter. He had been outmaneuvered. He had to come to Malaya with my grandmother and her children. Their children. His children.
My grandfather and my grandmother and their kids came to Malaya before Merdeka. They restarted their life, the one that had begun in the war.
For some reason, the other grandmother never came to Malaya. My father and his siblings never met her again. They met their half-sibling many, many years later, after China opened up.
The fourth lesson is: you have to know how to keep a secret.
Wait, there's a fifth lesson.
The fifth lesson is: a man can be outmanoeuvred by a woman!
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| We have a happy home, even though our house is small. |
Thanks for reading.
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