Variants of the Basic Trade

Usually, a trade means that A gives B something, and B gives A something. Too often, A asks B for something, and B says -- "OK". [^^,] But when B asks for something in return, A does not feel obligated to reciprocate. B feels slighted. B says to A, "You got something from me. You owe me." A says to B, "You gave it willingly!" Is this any sort of trade to do? Indeed it is not. B should have made a trade with A the moment A asked for the item.


Enter the wisdom of Jim Thomas¹. He says that there are four alternatives to just saying "Yes" to requests. All of them are a trade. In fact, this is how we trade. The four alternatives² (which I fully agree with) are:

1. I’ll agree to X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . if I get Y in return.
2. I’ll agree to X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . but then I won’t be able to do Z.
3. I’ll agree to [something other than X]. . . if I get Y in return.
4. I’ll agree to [something other than X]. . . but then I won’t be able to do Z.

Does one have to be Mr. Nice Guy all the time? Certainly not. We are not all Santa Clauses. We have to survive, too. Also, fairness is a universal value. Having a fair bargain is the epitome of fairness. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All Men -- these things can certainly become a reality if people decided to give better, fairer bargains to their fellow men. Of course, there is also room for charity. The emphasis should be on voluntariness, because fairness and charity are meaningless if there is no voluntariness.

The long-term solution: Educate our fellow men to be fairer, more charitable, and more generous. The short-term solution: Learn how to bargain better. All parties will definitely walk away from the deal feeling good.

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Notes

1. Jim Thomas, Negotiate To Win: The 21 Rules For Successful Negotiating, published by Collins (2005), ISBN No. 0060781068
2. Ibid at p. 65