Think of the Baby Before the Babe

If you go to an event and meet a babe...

And she connects with you, smiles at you, and says that she'll be in touch.

Remind yourself that you have a wife and kids at home.

What you invest your time in defines who you are. Who you invest yourself in determines who you will be.

The wife.

A wife who cooks and cleans and washes the clothes.

A wife who gave birth to two children, who keep us up late at night.

A wife who wakes up in the middle of the night and breastfeeds the baby.

The kid.

And think about the kid that sings Happy Birthday to You in his own special way.

The way he sings "ABCD" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and expects everyone to clap for him at the end of it. And then he takes a bow and says "Thank you, thank you."

The way he tries to argue with adults in his kid logic.

His mischievous and cheeky smile as you tell him a joke.

The baby.

And think about the little baby who cries every time she wants a drink of milk.

The little baby who gets excited about drinking out of a baby bottle, and flaps her hands in the air while her whole baby face curves into a smile.

The little baby who props herself up on her hands as she tries to stand up, and uses a little stool as her crutch.

Life is full of choices.

Sticking it out and sticking with the program is a choice.

Living with someone who is demanding and unreasonable and wants to be held and fed and coddled at all hours of the day is a choice.

Living with someone who dirties herself without being able to clean herself up, and looks at you and cries as though it's your fault that she's soiled her pants, is a choice.

Loving someone even though she looks different from what she used to is a choice.

Working hard through the night and into the wee hours of the morning just to make the money is a choice.

Entertaining someone else's shopaholic urges and putting up the money with a polite smile and knowing that it comes at great cost to yourself is a choice.

Toughing it out with the hope that one day your kids will grow up into beautiful adults and your spouse will become wiser and self-sufficient with time, even though it seems uncertain, is a choice.

Going for days or even weeks without physical intimacy yet choosing never to make an issue out of it is a choice.

Loving your family enough to want to do what's best for them, is a choice.

It's the choices we make today that shape our lives tomorrow. 

We make our own silver linings. They don't appear by magic.

On Being Professional.

Babes are people too. They deserve to be treated with respect. And so you should treat them with respect.

There is more than one way to connect with people. The relationships that we choose to build with others need not be stereotyped. And a man and a woman can be friends. It doesn't have to be "that way" or only about "that thing".

I choose to be professional in my dealings. We can work together, and network with each other. Friendships can lead to business.

We all need business, so why not turn every babe that we've ever met into a business associate. Others might find them attractive and fascinating. You'll get invited more often when you bring your friend along.

The funny guys, the strange guys, and the famous guys all really want to connect with you because they want to be friends. Just be a friend. Be real. Be genuine. They know when you're faking it.

Over time you'll build a business network that's profitable for you and your friends. It might be that some of the people in your network just happen to be babes. Or celebrities. Or famous people. And that's okay, because they are people just like you and me.

Just be yourself and don't think about how hot they look. After you've met them a few times you probably won't notice it. You'll probably appreciate their intelligence and determination and integrity even more. Those are the things that remain valuable when people get old.

Of course, you should also cultivate in yourself the very same things that you admire in others. 

So think of baby before you think about the babe.

And then you'll know how to set your limits. It's not about personal attraction. It should be about professionalism.

Because one day, your baby will grow up into a babe. And then someone else will meet her. And he'll think about her. And then he will read this post. 

And that someone else will know that he has to be professional when dealing with your baby.

Thanks for reading.

Here are some other pieces from me:

1. My response to the 1MDB scandal.
2. Remembrance of a Scrabble King (ode to my old teacher, Leonard Wong).
3. Youth are spending with abandon.
4. So what if you go bankrupt?
5. You don't have to be a gigolo to make ends meet.
6. An interesting day at court.

You can reach out to me on Twitter at @kevinkoosk.